


Remember You

by topiasstark



Series: 闇と光 [2]
Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, but the TENSION, not in a relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 09:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20833169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topiasstark/pseuds/topiasstark
Summary: On a certain day, his memories come flooding back in confusing flashes. Bits and pieces of his life when he was immortal, leaking out of the box he kept in his heart. While Hikari thinks alcohol is the solution, Yami begs to differ and is there to make it better.





	Remember You

**Author's Note:**

> just a development in their relationship, the will they won't they phase. Title is Remember You, song by Marceline the Vampire Queen, I don't own the song and credits to Adventure Time.

He’d like to believe it was simple. That the emotions and flashbacks haunting him were not his but merely a poor soul projecting their torment onto him. But despite how foreign they seem, he knew from the aching familiarity he felt, they were somehow, his. Around this time of year, the dull throb in his chest comes back hellbent on revenge, reminding him of what he willingly gave up. Everything circled back to the memory spell, the cur- Something happened, but thinking about it was like grasping water, he only knew that whatever it was left a scar, and even if he erased it in his memories, his heart, body and soul remembers. Magic, especially one such as this, is tied to the heart and due to this “muscle memory”, his heart’s hold on the spell weakened allowing the memories to leak which was how he ended up in this tavern, trying desperately to all but drink himself to death.

When the first wave of despair hit, he was confused, bombarded by numerous emotions powerful enough to bring him to his knees. He was walking towards Vanessa and suddenly she was propping him up, one of his hands clutching his chest and the other holding back sobs as tears soaked the ground. When he gained some semblance of control, Vanessa knew not to pry because she’s never seen him look so vulnerable. “Miss Vanessa, you are constantly drunk” he said non sequitur, earning a guarded glare

“Hmmm, what’s your point?”

“You are clearly avoiding something, or perhaps trying desperately to forget…” he mused, she levelled him a bored look urging him to continue.

“Does it work?” She thought he was diverting, which was why the question took her by surprise, prompting her to ponder. With a tired sigh she finally answered “Most of the time, yes, but it’s not a cure, far from it… it’s more like… a distraction… my head scrambled by all the booze.”

“That sounds agreeable… thank you, well I best be off.” His face set in a steely resolve, he stood up and was about to leave when Vanessa grabbed his arm.

“where’re you going?”

His expression guarded but softened at the genuine concern reflected back at him “I would much rather be alone… I would not wish for Asta or any of you to witness this and worry, please” he pleaded. “I really hope you won’t do this alone… but I can’t stop you, here take the communicator and… be safe boy”. With a swift nod, he left.

Instead of going back to sleep Vanessa headed for the captain’s room, giving the door loud furtive knocks “Whoever that is quit it or I’ll kill you” came the gruff reply. “Danchou, it’s Vanessa… something’s going on with Hikari… he won’t talk about it and now he’s out alone”. The door opened revealing a dishevelled Yami. Despite his prickly exterior he cares for his subordinates as his own family, taking every chance he has to show them his personal brand of tough love. His subtle soft spot for the new recruit, combined with the fact that Vanessa rarely went out of her way to worry about anything was cause for concern.

“what happened?”

“he was walking then next thing I knew he’s on his knees bawling… then he asked me weird questions. I tried to stop him from leaving cause he looked crushed captain, but he didn’t want Asta worrying and he’d rather be alone. I gave him a communicator though, so if anything happens…”

Yami was just standing there perhaps still shaking off the sleep or thinking about what to say “tch, alright, got it, respect his decision and let him tough it out, but I’ll keep tabs on the comms”.

“kay”

When he arrived at the tavern people stopped and stared wondering if an angel just walked in or if they’re just that drunk, but his single-minded focus led him straight to the bar ignoring the onlookers. “the strongest drink you have please”

“that kinda day huh? Comin’ right up”. Instead of the companionable silence he craved, this barkeep chose to hit on him “here ya go beautiful, on the house”

“thank you, kind sir”

“think nothin’ of it, I’m Tom, so tell me… how’d a pretty thing like you end up here like this”

“forgive me, but I wish to wallow in alcohol, so if you would be so kind… keep the drinks coming and leave me be, I would appreciate it… also, you do know I am a man, right?” the last bit said just a bit louder for the benefit of the other patrons still staring their way. The barkeep - Tom - was a bit taken aback, not that he’s never been rejected, but that one, this was a very beautiful man and two, he was so polite and wasn’t offended by his advances.

“very well, pardon me”.

After the 15th glass, Tom was starting to worry, Hikari had discarded his cloak onto the bar top revealing too much skin in his loose kimono, crying into his liquor and accepting any offers to buy him a drink. Tom, seeing the communicator and Black Bulls emblem, grabbed it and contacted the captain.

Yami was waiting for Hikari’s call in case he got into trouble, which was why he was grouchy when some random guy called, “what?!” startled by the greeting Tom took a second to collect his thoughts “hello, is this the black bulls captain? I’m the barkeep from Nean tavern”

“whaddaya want, I’m busy, I paid my tab, didn’t I?!”

“no sir, I mean yes, but that’s not why I’m calling. There’s a Black Bulls member here, a man, I think he’s drunk and someone should take him home” Yami was thinking maybe Vanessa was shitfaced at the bar again so he asked “you sure it’s a man?”

“I mean he’s pretty but trusts me, I checked”. At that Yami knew who he was talking about and seethed at the thought of someone messing with his subordinate “oi! Touch him and I’ll kill you”

“easy pal I know when to back off, besides I’m not the only one tryna cop a feel and a lot of these guys are drunker than before… they’re starting to not care he’s a guy. So, I suggest you send someone to pick him up cause he don’t seem like he’s stopping any time soon”. Yami hung up and flew straight to the tavern. The Black Bulls have a bad reputation, especially their captain, God of Destruction Yami Sukehiro, so Tom was right to feel uneasy especially with how the conversation ended.

Hikari was in fact not drunk, he’s buzzed at best. His body rapidly heals and him feeling any effects at all was purely mental suggestion. Unfortunately, the visions didn’t disappear instead becoming more vivid except the people in it seem to be blurred beyond recognition. So, he’s experiencing the horror of these nightmares in dizzying flashes with the added frustration of anonymity. He’s in the middle of dodging this sleazy guy, maybe scoring a drink or two, when said sleaze suddenly stopped coming onto him and quaked just when he felt an imposing presence looming behind him. Ignoring the guy, he turned around to see what was lurking behind him and was met with broad chest and dark eyes staring intensely into his. “hello there, care to buy me a drink?” he said sultrily not recognising who it was, “I think you’ve had enough, let’s go”

“woah there, do I know you- oh wait, I DO know you…” Yami stopped short, his eyes lit up, hoping maybe he finally remembered, “uhhhh, yes, I do, I see you every day, somewhere… are you stalking me? Creepy”. Yami deflated and with a heavy sigh, “you do know me…” he said softly, earnestly, almost pleading, and that brought Hikari’s attention back to the well-built man. He gave the man - Yami – a good look, focusing, trying to decipher what that last statement meant when suddenly the tears that dried up came again. Yami was looking at his increasingly confused face and Hikari turned away when he couldn’t bear the weight of his heavy gaze any longer, demanding another drink.

“oh no you don’t, we’re leaving. How much does he owe you?”. Tom, a bit startled that he was caught eavesdropping stammered a reply “nah, most of it came from strangers and the rest is on the house”, Yami seemed displeased but he wasn’t about to deny free drinks, “okay, thanks for calling… you, stand up and put this back on”, he was holding Hikari up, trying to cover him up, intimidate the people staring and lead him outside. Hikari, still preoccupied with his thoughts, didn’t put up a fight and silently followed the hand holding his.

Now he may not be drunk, but given the state his mind was in he might as well be. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he’ll probably regret some things tonight, but at the moment, comfortably cradled in Yami’s arms nuzzling his neck as they flew, he just couldn’t care less. He’s crying again, saying softly into Yami’s neck “I keep seeing these horrible visions, living through them but everyone is a big blur, what is happening… who are these people?”. Then he broke off into a soft hum, a beautiful haunting tune, progressing to singing, “who’s going to save me, please forgive me, for, whatever I do…” softly, “when I don’t remember you…”.

Yami looked at him with a sad questioning gaze, thinking some part of him must still remember their past “nice song, you doing okay?”

“Yami-sama… thank you…and please, forgive me…”

“for what?”

“I am not drunk you know, not really”

“yeah? That so? Well why am I carrying your ass back to base then?”

“I think only you can answer that Yami-sama.” He said before getting lost in his thoughts again. The rest of the journey passed in a meaningful silence as both of them mulled over their conversation.

They flew in through Yami’s window and as soon as Yami set him down, Hikari leaned closer and hugged him, “I know this feeling… familiar” he said into Yami’s chest. Letting go, he was about to leave for his room when Yami tugged him and gave him a glass of water “drink, you’re gonna thank me later”

“I am already thankful…” At that Yami took off the robe and kimono he was wearing but stopped him when he was about to take off his underwear, then he was being tucked into bed still vaguely aware of his surroundings. He can faintly make out the bustle of Yami scurrying about the room in the background, a part of his mind wondering what the other man was doing until he felt a comforting weight settle in beside him clad in nothing but a pair of cotton pants. Jogged by the smell fresh air and hints of smoke, he snuggled closer leaning into the comforting presence, lulled to sleep.

Yami didn’t know what he’s doing or why, but he knew he can’t leave Hikari alone tonight. So, he did something rash, but lying beside Hikari, looking at the rise and fall of his chest, he knew this was right. His gaze shifted to the silhouette of sharp, smooth features highlighted by moonlight. He’s thinking about tonight, “a memory spell… but it’s slipping, why now? What is he? How much of his memories are tampered with…by whom” his thoughts kept circling on the matter, eventually putting him to sleep, curled around Hikari.

\--- 

He knew where he was even before fully waking up, the memories of last night clear and fresh. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a head full of black hair. _Crap_. They were a tangle of limbs, Yami’s head rested comfortably on his chest. He carefully removed Yami and sat up, putting his head on his knees. He had a slight headache from the alcohol and regret pooling in his gut. He raised his head, turned around and looked out the window to see the sun rising on the horizon, he gained enough courage to look at Yami, only to see dark eyes staring back at him. He was feeling guilty for making the captain go through last night, he leaned in to smell him and could discern a faint trace of alcohol both on him and the other man.

Yami was startled when he started to lean forward but his thoughts were disrupted when he said “join me for a bath, would you?”. For a while they just sat there frozen, staring intently into each other’s eyes, both still processing the request. Yami rarely woke up this early but it’s even rarer that he got a good night’s sleep so it surprised him when he replied, “okay”. Hikari untangled himself and conjured up a portal to the communal bath and gently tugged Yami.

They were both in some state of undress, him in his underwear and Yami in a simple cotton pyjama pants, so getting into the bath took little time (if they both snuck glances at each other, nobody mentioned it). Once settled, they were sitting side by side both unsure what to say, giving him a sideways glance and with a smirk he teased “nice pants… very comfy”. Fighting the embarrassed blush creeping in Yami countered “well I figured you wouldn’t appreciate waking up with my dick hanging out, I’m a modest man ya know”

“yet you allowed me to sleep in my undergarments…right if you say so. Although you could have just, maybe, let me sleep in my own room, you know the one right next to yours”

“I didn’t see you complaining last night snuggling up to this here chest” slapping it lightly for emphasis. Stunned, Hikari cleared his throat unnecessarily loud, “given that you were in control last night it seems you were agreeable to our sleeping arrangement as well, probably more so” he replied.

“Don’t flatter yourself just cause I didn’t wanna find you dead in your room choked on vomit”

“I was NOT drunk and you know it, besides why would you be the one to find my corpse, I would hope it would be Asta and he would cradle me in his arms, mourning my untimely death…”

“brother complex” Yami muttered silently enough to be unintelligible but loud enough to notice. Hikari, thinking it was another jab at what happened last night brought out the big guns “come again? Mumbling even after getting into the bath, maybe you need more sleep, why not rest your head right here” he said gesturing to his chest, “use my body as a pillow again, you certainly looked quite comfortable this morning”. Hikari gave him a mischievous look, thinking he had won, “can you blame me, you make a really good pillow” he stretched his arms, sprawling on either side of his body, smoothly draping one behind Hikari. “Last night was some of the best sleep I’ve had in ages” Yami said without any hesitation. Although stunned by the bold statement Hikari did have to agree that he slept well, and he said as much “Yes, it was quite a restful sleep for once”

“see, now we’re talking. Maybe sometime we could do it again huh, but without all the crying and drinking”. And then he was reminded of what brought them here.

“I really am sorry but truly grateful as well, at you, for picking me up” Hikari said voicing out his guilt.

“it’s fine, was in the area anyway”

“you are a bad liar captain”

“well I’m you’re captain aren’t I, I gotta look out for my people”

“right… captain do you know me, have we met before? You feel familiar, if that makes sense”. Yami was put on the spot, he thought there must be a reason why he doesn’t remember anything and who’s he to decide if he should or shouldn’t know. Maybe it was painful, maybe it wasn’t significant but he knew it wasn’t his place to interfere, “now who knows, maybe we have maybe we haven’t met. But if you can’t remember then what makes you think I do”. With a withering look, Hikari sighed and leaned in closer, settling comfortably into Yami’s side, head on his shoulder. They lapsed back into silence although this time a more comfortable one. 

**Author's Note:**

> I love sad fluff


End file.
